KING ARTHUR Review, SNATCHED Review, PARIS CAN WAIT Review — You’re better off seeing GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 Again

King Arthur Review — The Legend of the Sword cuts down Guy Ritchie’s reputation

I realize that director Guy Ritchie made this film for fan boys and gamers, but the history buff in me was offended when the movie opened with giant CGI war elephants attacking a dark, bizarre mountaintop castle that is supposed to be Camelot.

This is a version of the classic sword in the stone story without the classicism; no Merlin, Guinevere or Lancelot. Instead we have Charlie Hunnam trying to be Chris Hemsworth, and Jude Law trying to be Snidely Whiplash, going at each other in a grimy, colorless video game world while attempting to breathe live into a loose, meandering plot.

This is the best they can do with $150 million? Someone’s head will surely be on the chopping block.

Rated PG-13

2 Hours 15 Minutes

SNATCHED Review — Missed Opportunities

You would think that Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn would strike comedic gold together, right? Alas, Schumer is barely able to hold up her end of that bargain, and Hawn can’t get a grip on it at all. It’s been too many years and cosmetic fillers since Laugh-In.

Surprisingly enough, the supporting cast that includes Wanda Sykes, Joan Cusack and Christopher Meloni can’t  bail them out, mostly because they’re used too little too late.

It’s a shame that more effort wasn’t put into this film about a mother and daughter getting kidnapped while vacationing together in Ecuador. It had so much potential, and I like to see female-driven movies surprise and succeed. But it seems that everyone both on camera and behind the scenes gets lost in the jungle, and never finds their way out.

Rated R

1 Hour 31 Minutes

PARIS CAN WAIT Review — At Least There’s Wine

Paris Can Wait is another female fueled film, this one written and directed by octogenarian Eleanor Coppola, wife of Francis. It focuses on a culinary road trip through France. It stars Diane Lane, Alec Baldwin, and charming French actor Arnaud Viard. What’s not to like?

Well, mostly the script. It focuses on a frustrated wife (Lane) whose successful film producing husband (Baldwin) sends her from Cannes to Paris with his sensualist colleague (Viard). There are some lovely, languorous food and wine shots, and the scenery is superb, but the dialogue is sparse, unoriginal, uninspired, and, well, boring. I kept waiting for witty repartee or perhaps some revelatory insight, but none ever showed up.

Still, it’s a good excuse to dine on French food, or at least drink French wine, afterwards. (As if you need an excuse)

Rated PG

1 Hour 31 Minutes

https://youtu.be/tzP6q8zCjLU

Get times and tickets at Fandango.com.

KING ARTHUR Review, SNATCHED Review, PARIS CAN WAIT Review — No Good Newbies