The one feel good takeaway I got from seeing my hometown reduced to rubble is that at least I don’t live in downtown Los Angeles, where skyscrapers can tumble and fires can burn whatever’s left. I live on the other side of Mulholland, in a nice, bucolic neighborhood where neighbors lend a hand, rather than trip over you in their efforts to flee. If it weren’t for that, San Andreas would have scared the H-E-double toothpicks out of me, and I’d be calling my realtor post haste.

San Andreas never claims to be anything more than a good old fashioned disaster movie, with a dashing hero in the form of Dwayne Johnson hovering overhead in a helicopter, ready, willing and able to save the day… at least for his own family. Dare I say it? Dwayne Johnson rocks as LAFD pilot Ray Gaines.  Carla Gugino is his estranged wife, Paul Giamatti appears to be having a raucous good time as the harried Cal Tech professor who figures out a way to predict earthquakes just moments before a 9.5 strikes, and The Good Wife‘s Archie Panjabi (Kalinda) is the journalist who reports it all. How fun is that cast?

Who cares if the geological science doesn’t exactly ring true in this apocalyptical thriller? Could alien attacks really happen? Could a deadly epidemic send zombies terrorizing the earth? The fun is in seeing our heroes surmount the most daunting of obstacles. And if a chasm the size of the Grand Canyon opening up right in the middle of a freeway, or a tsunami soaking San Franciso isn’t daunting, I don’t know what is.

Now I’m not expecting San Andreas to do so well in California — as a matter of fact, I couldn’t find a friend or family member who wanted to attend the screening with me, for fear it would freak them out. But the rest of the country, which sadly includes millions of California haters, will have a great time watching Dwayne Johnson save the West Coast, and seeing California crumbling to dust.

Rated PG-13

2 Hours 3 Minutes

Get times and tickets at Fandango.com.

SAN ANDREAS Movie Review — the Fault is Not in the Stars