Sometimes I like to hit a movie cold, without doing any prior research, the way most viewers see it. I want to form my own opinions without being influenced by anyone else. So when esteemed director Cameron Crowe (Almost Famous, Jerry Maguire) stood up before the gathering  of journalists and critics at a media screening (something directors NEVER do), and invited us to take Aloha as his love letter to Hawaii, no matter what we’d heard about the film, I thought, “uh oh — here comes trouble.” Also, the fact that they announced that reviews were embargoed until the day before opening did nothing to build my confidence. That often indicates studios are trying to get a film out before critics give it an inevitable thrashing.

It didn’t take long to figure out why Sony had adopted this strategy. Aloha, while beautifully shot and acted, makes almost no sense. I still can’t figure out the plot to summarize it for you. I have so many unanswered questions: Just what kind of work does Bradley Cooper’s character do, and what’s the strange event he’s come to Hawaii to supervise? Why would the military assign a hot young pixie (Emma Stone) who looks about half his age, to oversee his efforts on the island? And isn’t it just the cutest coincidence that the second he steps off the plane — I mean, he’s still on the tarmac — he runs into his ex-girlfriend, played by Rachel McAdams, who is now happily married to the pilot who just flew him in (John Krasinsky)? Oh, and there appear to be statements about satellites littering the sky, questionable paternity and native Hawaiians getting cheated, but those plot points sort of trail off…

Believe me, if you spend the majority of this movie puzzled about what’s happening and why, you’re not alone. It’s not you, it’s the script.

And that script, apparently, has been kicking around for years, and was originally intended for Ben Stiller and Reese Witherspoon. That would have been funnier, especially if they played it for big laughs. It fell into a number of different hands at Sony, and by the time Cameron Crowe got ahold of the script and made a few changes on it, Sony Co-Chair Amy Pascal famously wrote, “I’m never starting a movie again when the script is this ridiculous…and we all know it. I don’t care how much I love the director and the actors. It never not even once works.” We know this because those comments were among the emails leaked in the catastrophic Sony hacking scandal–and I didn’t read them until Crowe’s opening remarks made me suspicious.

So.

Seriously, what we have here is a failure to communicate, as well as a failure to keep filmmakers from over communicating. I’m truly sorry. I really wish this film were better.

PG-13

1 Hour 45 Minutes

Get times and tickets at Fandango.com.

ALOHA Movie Review: Awkward