Lisa Johnson Mandell’s Five Nights at Freddy’s review says it will probably satisfy fans of the video game, but this animatronic pizza parlor “horror” movie is plain cinematic junk food for everyone else.

It’s not often that I’ll thoroughly trash a movie. Out of respect for the hard work and best efforts of the actors and filmmakers behind it, I’ll stay silent, rather than post a completely negative review of a film I’d otherwise give a one or two on a scale of 10.

But Five Nights at Freddy’s is so dreadfully awful, apparently made just to to milk the avid fans of the video game that inspired it, I feel it’s my duty to warn people. It’s easily one of the worst films of the year, if not the decade. And I’ve seen a lot of real stinkers. Razzies, here it comes!

Which is not to say the video game fans won’t like it. I don’t know any personally, but the ones who attended the public preview screening with me seemed satisfied to see their favorite characters finally being portrayed on the big screen, no matter how ludicrously nonsensical the plot seems to be.

Five Nights at Freddy’s Review — A Long Time Coming

The filmmakers are obviously hoping it will be the first in a movie franchise based on Scott Cawthon’s popular video game series that follows a threadbare group of maniacal animatronic characters in rundown pizza parlors, riffing on those at Chuck E. Cheese. The fictional chain is called Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, and the animatronics look like giant, benign stuffed animals, who sing, wiggle and “play” musical instruments.

This film  has been in production in one form or another since 2015, shortly after the game was launched. It changed studios, directors, plots etc., numerous times, likely a few too many, until it landed at Universal, in the extremely capable hands of producer Jason Blum, and the apparently less than capable hands of director/co-screenwriter Emma Tammi.

I will say that one smart move was made when they cast Josh Hutcherson, everyone’s favorite Hunger Games hunk, as the lead, playing a down-on-his-luck night watchman trying to retain custody of his withdrawn little sister. He’s beating himself over a tragedy in his past, which is somehow connected to the evil animatronics in his present.

The plot is as dingy and full of holes as a 10-year-old pair of underpants, and about as much fun to watch.

Rated PG-13

1 Hour 50 Minutes

After reading this negative Five Nights at Freddy’s review you’re still inclined  for some reason you’re inclined to watch it in the theater, you can find times and tickets on Fandango.com.

Lisa Johnson Mandell’s Five Nights at Freddy’s review says it will probably satisfy fans of the video game, but this animatronic pizza parlor “horror” movie is plain cinematic junk food for everyone else.