Lisa Johnson Mandell and Hollywood Hound Frankie Feldman are lured by the siren song of Rent a Mermaid Linden
Just when I thought I’d covered all the essentials for Frankie Feldman’s Barkmitzvah, (he’s almost 13 in dog years). I attend The Agency‘s amazing “Midsummer’s Night Dream” party at a lavish estate in The Oaks of Calabasas, and I realize that Frankie’s fete will not be complete without the slickest party favor all: the Rent a Mermaid.
I was intrigued by her the moment I saw this gorgeous, not-so-mythical creature gliding through the double-sided infinity pool at the posh, $15 million estate on Prado del Grandioso. And I was delighted when she swam up to the edge and opened her mouth to speak; actual words came out, rather than that screechy siren song I was expecting.
Mermaid Linden turned out to be adorable and the ideal aquatic conversationalist. More than just a pretty fin, Linden Wolbert has a BA in Film and Science from Emerson College, and is a professional underwater model, videographer and avid diver. She’s one of the lucky and smart ones who has been able to parlay her passion into a successful business, mostly inspiring and educating children about about ocean conservation, water safety and the wonders of the sea. I ask you, who wouldn’t want to be a mermaid for a living? She’s even come up with her own line of kids’ mermaid swim mono fins by Body Glove ($39.95 at Amazon.) Guess what the little mermaid lovers in my family are getting for Christmas…er…I mean Channuka.
In a town that has party performers up the wazoo, Mermaid Linden has a packed schedule performing at children’s parties, corporate events like the one we attended, and educational outings. “No ocean is too far, no pool too distant. Have tail, will travel!” she says. “I have been to the Bahamas, Honduras, Palau, Cozumel, Tobago, Bonaire, Japan, the Florida Keys, all over the United States, in Scotland, England, and many places in between.”
When chatting with one of the hosts of the party, I was told that there are plenty of Rent a Mermaids available for these types of events, but Mermaid Linden is the best, because, among many other reasons, she doesn’t require too many bathroom breaks. The mermaid tail makes trips to the powder room a little awkward and time consuming, as you can imagine. One mermaid insisted on being carried to and from the loo every 20 minutes by a hulking young squire of Neptune.
Personally, I loved her because she’s gregarious, intelligent, comfortable using every aquatic pun in the book, and she gave me a flashing rubber light ring. I challenge you to find another Rent a Mermaid who hands out jewelry. The Huffington Post calls her the Mermaid to the Stars, because she’s swum in many a celebrity pool and discreetly doesn’t shell out their secrets.
Now Mermaid Linden doesn’t publish her booking prices, but, much to my husband’s horror, nothing is too good for Frankie Feldman, especially in this hallowed right of passage from puppy to dog. I just hope he and his doggy friends don’t try to eat her. I, like you, can get “de-tails” from her website, MermaidsInMotion.com, or by sending her an email at email@example.com. Whatever the price, she’s worth it. No other Rent a Mermaid holds water.
Rent a Mermaid — L.A.’s Hottest New Must-Have Party Favor
Find out more about Mermaid Lindon on her Mermaid Minutes on YouTube